September 10th, 2018

Here are the four best moments from the greatest film of all time, Dirty Dancing.

1. The moment Baby, egged on by Johnny’s incredulity, resolves to learn that goddamn mambo better than anyone else has ever learned the mambo in the history of white ladies learning the mambo.

2. The moment Robbie refuses to help pay for Penny’s abortion and recommends Baby read The Fountainhead so she can learn why “some people matter and some people don’t” and Baby–with the intensity of a Canada goose guarding her young–hisses for him to “stay away from my sister” and pours iced water all down Robbie’s dishonourable crotch.

3. The moment Baby figures out her hypocrite father’s game and sees he doesn’t want her to “make the world better,” he wants her to “make the world better for people like HIM,” and while she may have let him down (by ordering that illegal abortion that almost killed Penny), but you know what? “YOU LET ME DOWN TOO (BY BEING CLASSIST AF)!”

4. The moment Tito and Penny finally get to let loose on the main floor because let’s face it they are the best characters in this contemporary masterpiece, the end.